Do you remember the first time you realized that there were REAL bad people in the world and not just in books or movies? That realization probably came during your elementary school years. It is during this stage that children begin to understand that bad things happen in our world. When our children are faced with this reality, it begs us, the parent, to ask, how do I talk to my child about evil; that evil is real, that it exits?
We want to help you navigate how to talk candidly with your child about evil, while at the same time protecting them from the fear and anxiety that can develop when people think about evil in our world. Check out this month’s video on How to Teach Our Children About Evil in the World.
Later in the month I’ll be in touch with some practical steps for talking with your children about evil in the world.
Partnering with you,
Posted on November 17, 2017 10:35 AM
I’m Kim Constantino, the new Family Life Minister at Risen Christ. I’m happy to take over for Pastor in reaching out to parents twice a month with information I hope you’ll find valuable on topics relevant to life as a parent in today’s world. Below you’ll find this month’s topic on perfectionism vs excellence.
Are you a perfectionist? Do you have a child who is a perfectionist? Being a perfectionist is ROUGH (I speak from experience) because NO ONE is perfect. It’s exhausting, and to a child who finds personal value from doing something well, it can be a train wreck of emotion.
Sometimes our children are perfectionists because they get it from us. Sometimes we’ve created it in them because we’ve only praised them when they’ve done something well. How often do you hear a parent say something like, “You’re just not great at basketball, I don’t think it’s your thing.”? We tend to tell our children only what they are good at, and often don’t help them understand their weaknesses.
This month we want to help you navigate what it looks like to help your child learn from failure and understand that perfectionism isn’t the goal, excellence is.
Partnering with you,
Posted on October 17, 2017 1:24 PM
W-O-R-K is not a four-letter word, but many kids act like it is. There is a great sense of value that comes from accomplishing something through our labor, but how do we teach this to our children. How do we raise them so they understand the value of hard work?
2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 gives great Biblical perspective on the idea of idleness. Paul can be a brutal guy at times, and in verse 10 of 2 Thessalonians 3 he says, “ If anyone isn’t willing to work, he shouldn’t eat.” Now that’s pretty drastic, but it illustrates the point that being a hard worker is important to God.
It can be tough to teach our little ones a strong work ethic, moving them beyond their cartoons and video screens to engage in a helpful, meaningful way. It starts in the home. In order for children to be responsible we must give them responsibilities to manage. Here are a few ways to communicate responsibility to your child:
- Be a role model. Do I skip work because I feel like it, give my all to a project, spend within my means, keep my word?
- Don’t continually bail kids out of their responsibilities. They have to eat school lunch if they forget their lunchbox. If you have to pick up their toys, you get to keep them (until they’ve proven responsibility and can have them back).
- Give checklists. Kids can get overwhelmed with a verbal to-do list. Write out what you want them to do so they can mark through their accomplishments.
Partnering with you,
Posted on October 02, 2017 1:54 PM
A new study says kids today are more materialistic, they want MORE than ever before, and they’re less likely to work and study hard for the things they want. We want our children to be responsible, to work hard. In order for them to be responsible, we must give them responsibilities.
How do we teach them to be hard workers, and for that matter, does hard work even matter? Check out this month’s online parenting class to see how to get your kid to do more than play Wii.
In a couple of weeks I’ll be sending you the second installment of how to cultivate good work habits in your children. Maybe a good starting point is thinking through some appropriate chores at home for your child. Do they need more than they currently have, do they need to be pushed to do the current ones better?
Partnering with you,
Posted on September 19, 2017 4:13 PM
Gratefulness is an attitude that we choose to have. In reality a grateful heart has NOTHING to do with what we have, material possessions. A grateful heart also isn’t birthed out of positive circumstances in life. Gratefulness is an attitude we possess when we know WHOSE we are.
When you read of Paul and Silas imprisoned in Acts 16, you find out they’d just been severely beaten by a crowd and drug to prison. As they’re in prison that evening we see Paul and Silas doing 2 things; praying and singing hymns. We can learn a lot about gratefulness from the responses of these men. Upon a severe beating and imprisonment, we se them expressing adoration and gratefulness to God. They’re attention wasn’t fixed on their circumstances; it was fixed on God Himself.
So now that we understand that gratefulness isn’t about being thankful for our stuff or our great circumstances, but rather an attitude fixed on God Himself, how do we instill an attitude of gratefulness in our children?
- Live in the present. Living in the past keeps us tied to guilt and regret. Living in the future leaves us striving for things that we’re not promised. Live for today.
- Make sure when you express gratefulness that isn’t just for things. Be grateful for good attitudes, great friends, kind words, etc.
- Develop an understanding of money with an allowance. While instituting an allowance, teach what it means to save, tithe, give and spend.
- Expose your children to people from all different walks of life. Help them see what people HAVE doesn’t define WHO they are.
Gratefulness is an attitude of contentment. It’s when WE say I don’t need more from God to follow Him completely. I’ll follow NOW. Our children will learn gratefulness from us when they see it modeled through this type of attitude.
Posted on August 31, 2017 3:51 PM
When our children are small we have to prompt them to do everything. Go clean your room, chew with your mouth closed, say thank you. At some point, these things should become automatic. Do you find yourself STILL prompting your child to say thank you? When does that become automatic?
Instilling gratefulness in our children takes work. They are born grateful, they’re born selfish. So how do we teach them gratefulness? How do we help our child embrace gratefulness?
Check out this month’s video on Helping My Child Embrace Gratefulness. Later in the month you’ll receive a second email that will include some additional steps for instilling gratefulness, and we’ll tackle the subject of how using an allowance will help with gratefulness as well.
Posted on August 16, 2017 11:11 AM