Parenting - Elementary

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Parents-DON’T be their superhero

Parents,

Teacups are beautiful, yet they’re very fragile and must be handled with extreme care. Today, university professors call our children just that, teacups. They see college students as very fragile because of overprotection. And while teacups are aesthetically pleasing, they are rarely used and of little value to us on a day to day basis.

As parents it’s hard to watch our children fail, so often we swoop in to make sure they don’t. In the process we create children that don’t know how to fail well. This month we want to process how we can STOP being our child’s superhero, and instead, allow them to develop the courage and problem solving skills to work through any issue life hands them. Check out this month’s video link to see a glimpse into WHY we need to allow our children to fail.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/123492185/b35e13831e

Later this month we’ll delve more into how we can avoid swooping in to save the day, and we’ll take a look at what the Bible has to say about failure.

Partnering with you,

Kim Constantino

How to Handle Bed Time without a Fight

Parents,

I’m not sure if you’ve ever had this thought, but I’ve often been jealous of a napping child. When I see a small child who doesn’t want to nap, I often think, “One of these days you’ll be wishing you could take a nap.” Sleep is very important for us as adults, but it is equally as important to children. The difference is they’re growing bodies need MORE of it than we do as adults.

“Poor sleep patterns are linked to stress, depression, memory loss, weight gain, lower attention and increased accidents” (kidshealth.org). Maybe you used to rock your little one to sleep, singing a little song as they drifted into sweet rest. With grade-school children it’s up to them to get themselves to sleep and sometimes that can be met with resistance. This month we want to walk through this issue of bedtime battles with you.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/120256969/476f2de2e5

Be checking your email inbox later this month for part 2 of Getting Your Kid to Bed without a Fight. In that email we’ll lay out a step by step guide for taking the BATTLE OUT of bedtime.

Partnering with you,

         Kim Constantino

Keeping Our Children Safe Online

Parents,

The stats say it all. 90% of children are online by 3rd grade. We live in a digital age. I mean for goodness sake, you are reading this online parenting class while connected to the Internet. The Internet is neutral, neither good or bad. However, just like real life, there can be some negative consequences if we don’t use it wisely. Never is this more true than with our kids.

If the average age of exposure to pornography is age 8, how do we protect our children from the potential negative repercussions of being connected to the world wide web? We’re going to tackle this tough subject this month. How do we keep our children safe online?

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/118525493/b901c932a4

You’re the guardian of your child’s heart, and we want to help you keep that pure by putting some boundaries on the use of your child’s mobile devices. Stay tuned for the second installment of “Keeping Our Children Safe Online.”

Partnering with you,

Kim Constantino

Teaching children about evil in our world

         Parents,

Do you remember the first time you realized that there were REAL bad people in the world and not just in books or movies? That realization probably came during your elementary school years. It is during this stage that children begin to understand that bad things happen in our world. When our children are faced with this reality, it begs us, the parent, to ask, how do I talk to my child about evil; that evil is real, that it exits?

We want to help you navigate how to talk candidly with your child about evil, while at the same time protecting them from the fear and anxiety that can develop when people think about evil in our world. Check out this month’s video on How to Teach Our Children About Evil in the World.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/115113145/ab72f63a63

Later in the month I’ll be in touch with some practical steps for talking with your children about evil in the world.

Partnering with you,

         Kim Constantino

Part 2 of Perfectionism vs. Encouragement

 
Parents,

Have you ever seen your child become anxious or angry when they make a mistake? Does your little one give up easily? Is he overly cautious about tasks? Does she meltdown when things don’t go as planned? If you answered yes to these questions you probably have a perfectionist on your hands.

If you’ve seen the anxiety that’s created inside the mind of your little perfectionist, I’m guessing you want to know HOW to help them move past perfectionism in order to rationally deal with failure.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says…
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Perspective on weaknesses goes a long way. God’s power is only made perfect in weakness. So we’re to boast in our weakness. That kind of flies in the face of our Western culture. However, His strength is what guides us. Here are some practical tools for helping your little perfectionist move toward becoming one who strives for excellence instead:

  • Don’t praise kids for achievements that come easily
  • Nix the comparison game
  • Talk openly about differences, strengths and weaknesses. We all have them. God created us uniquely with different strengths and weaknesses.
  • Be SPECIFIC with your praise. No more “You’re such a good girl.” Instead, “Thanks for taking the initiative to keep your room clean. You’re showing such responsibility.”

Partnering with you,

Kim Constantino

Encouragement vs Perfectionism

Parents,

I’m Kim Constantino, the new Family Life Minister at Risen Christ. I’m happy to take over for Pastor in reaching out to parents twice a month with information I hope you’ll find valuable on topics relevant to life as a parent in today’s world. Below you’ll find this month’s topic on perfectionism vs excellence.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you have a child who is a perfectionist? Being a perfectionist is ROUGH (I speak from experience) because NO ONE is perfect. It’s exhausting, and to a child who finds personal value from doing something well, it can be a train wreck of emotion.

Sometimes our children are perfectionists because they get it from us. Sometimes we’ve created it in them because we’ve only praised them when they’ve done something well. How often do you hear a parent say something like, “You’re just not great at basketball, I don’t think it’s your thing.”? We tend to tell our children only what they are good at, and often don’t help them understand their weaknesses.

This month we want to help you navigate what it looks like to help your child learn from failure and understand that perfectionism isn’t the goal, excellence is.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/111735823/34ddcb48c1

Partnering with you,

Kim Constantino

Getting Kids to do More than Play Wii pt 2

Parents,

W-O-R-K is not a four-letter word, but many kids act like it is. There is a great sense of value that comes from accomplishing something through our labor, but how do we teach this to our children. How do we raise them so they understand the value of hard work?

2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 gives great Biblical perspective on the idea of idleness. Paul can be a brutal guy at times, and in verse 10 of 2 Thessalonians 3 he says, “ If anyone isn’t willing to work, he shouldn’t eat.” Now that’s pretty drastic, but it illustrates the point that being a hard worker is important to God.

It can be tough to teach our little ones a strong work ethic, moving them beyond their cartoons and video screens to engage in a helpful, meaningful way. It starts in the home. In order for children to be responsible we must give them responsibilities to manage. Here are a few ways to communicate responsibility to your child:

  1. Be a role model. Do I skip work because I feel like it, give my all to a project, spend within my means, keep my word?
  2. Don’t continually bail kids out of their responsibilities. They have to eat school lunch if they forget their lunchbox. If you have to pick up their toys, you get to keep them (until they’ve proven responsibility and can have them back).
  3. Give checklists. Kids can get overwhelmed with a verbal to-do list. Write out what you want them to do so they can mark through their accomplishments.

Partnering with you,

Pastor Deknatel

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