Parenting - Teens

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Shepherding Their Heart

Dear Parent,

This month is about the importance of your role in the life of your teenager. I know there are times that the only role you feel you have is that of an ATM, chauffeur, and referee! But please know that it is a proven fact that you as a parent have more influence in your teen’s life than any other factor. It doesn’t always seem that way but it is true. Just to be honest, parenting a teenager can often be discouraging and overwhelming.

It’s during these times that you have to remember that you play a huge part in guiding and teaching your teen. And to do that well, you have to have confidence! But not any old kind of confidence. It has to be God sized. I like to call it God confidence! It’s the kind of confidence you have, when you are questioning everything and feel absolutely lost, but know that you work inside of truth!

Your teen is lucky to have you. Someday they may even tell you that!

Here is a short video to encourage you today:  http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/76756779/c0b0d03574

Walking this journey with you,

Kim Constantino

Failure and Success

Dear Parent,

“My great concern is not that you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” You know who said that? This man lost his job, buried his fiancee’, and was defeated in eight different political elections. This great man was Abraham Lincoln.

Why does failure scare us so? Especially as parents. It is the contentment with failure that should terrify us. We must teach our teens that failure is a reason not to quit but to keep trying. It doesn’t define us, but it can direct us.

As a parent, we love to see our children succeed in anything they do. But ask yourself this question. When did you draw closer to God? When could you hear His voice just a little clearer? Defeat isn’t bad. It’s what we do with it that counts.

Here’s a 3 minute and 56 second video that will encourage you to push past failure… http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/73048852/8a166e88ad

Walking this journey with you,

Kim Constantino

Choosing Wisely

Dear Parent,

What exactly constitutes a wise choice? Is it a choice that ultimately puts you in a good light? Is it a decision the affects others positively? Is it subjective to the situation you happen to be in at the moment? I don’t know about you, but this is a really tough question for me. I would like to think I make wise choices consistently, but the truth of the matter is I don’t. Many times I have smacked myself in the forehead and said “if only I hadn’t…” or ” I wish I had…”.

So if it is hard for us as adults to make wise choices, how much harder is it for our teenagers to do the same? So much of who they are at this point is governed by emotions. And we know emotions are not very helpful in making wise choices, at all!

Choices are and will always be a part of most aspects of our daily lives. How do we help our teens learn how to make those choices count? I would like to encourage you to watch the following video that deals with our teens and their choices. Maybe it will give you a different perspective. And different perspectives often lead to different choices!

Walking this journey with you,

Kim Constantino

Responding vs Reacting

Dear Parent,

 

I’m Kim Constantino, the new Family Life Minister at Risen Christ. I’m happy to take over for Pastor in reaching out to parents twice a month with information I hope you’ll find valuable on topics relevant to life as a parent in today’s world. Below you’ll find this month’s topic on Responding vs Reacting. 

 

One of the hardest things in the world to do is to respond to your teen as they are throwing an attitude instead of reacting to them. What’s the difference? Well, reacting is based on emotion which we all know is rampant when dealing with a teenager. We respond to the situation when we step back from the emotion and take a moment to think through what is really going on. Like I said, it’s not easy!

 

Parents, the secret is out. The map to your “buttons” has been published , and your teen will push them. Repeatedly. But we do our own share of pushing, don’t we? You know what makes your teenager crazy and sometimes, just sometimes, it feels really good to give them a good share of their own medicine. At least for a moment, until we realize we have done exactly what we are trying to teach them NOT to do! Two steps forward, one step back! Just keep moving forward.
Walking this journey with you,

 

Please take a moment to watch this video.

 

Your Partner in Parenting,

 

Kim Constantino

Taking Pride pt 2

Dear Parent,

Does it seem like your teenager just doesn’t care about their grades or their attitude or even your opinion?

How can help your teenager value themselves?

One way you can do that is to take some time to remind them where our ultimate value comes from.

As believers, our identity comes from who we are in Christ. I want to share with you a reading we use in our Manhood/Womanhood Rite of Passage for 12th graders. It was written by Dr. Ed Laymance and it is full of biblical truth that reminds us as believers we are a “Child of the King”

Because of who Jesus Christ is, and
because He is my Savior and my Lord:
I am a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords,
seated with Christ in the heavenly realm. I am chosen, accepted,
and included – a citizen of heaven and a member of God’s household.
I am loved by God unconditionally and without reservation.
I belong to Him, having been bought by Him with the
precious blood of Jesus. I have eternal life and will be
saved from all of God’s wrath to come – guaranteed!
I am a Christian. I am not just different in what I do.
My identity has changed. Who I am has changed. Everything has
become brand new.
I am a dwelling place in which God lives by His Spirit.
I have access to Him anytime, anywhere, for any reason.
I am God’s creation – His workmanship. I was created by Him
and for Him, so who I am and what I do matters.
I am spiritually alive. I have been set free from the fear of death
and have been given life to live and enjoy to the full.
I am forgiven – completely, totally, and absolutely.
I have been rescued from the dominion of darkness and
brought into the Kingdom of light – the Kingdom of the Son.
I have been set free from the penalty of sin and the power of sin.
I am an enemy of Satan and at war with spiritual forces of evil, but
greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.
If God is for me, it doesn’t matter who or what stands against me,
because nothing and no one can separate me from the love of Christ –
not hurt, pain, loss, problem, or brokenness;
not persecution, trouble, difficulty, or danger;
not abandonment, abuse, addictions, or appetites;
not desires, food, sexuality, or relationships;
not life or death, angels or demons;
not my past, the present, or the future;
no power, no person, no place, not anything in all creation;
not even Satan himself shall prevail.
I am in the hands of Jesus, in the hands of God, and nothing and
no one can snatch me out of God’s hands.
I will fear no evil because God is with me, and
He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me.
God’s presence is with me everywhere I go –
to the heights of heaven,
through the valley of the shadow,
to the ends of the earth – forever and always.
I am a child of the King and choose this day to live as one

Walking this journey with you!

Pastor Deknatel

Taking Pride in Who God Made Them to Be

Dear Parent,

This month our focus is on valuing our teens in order to teach them how to take pride in who they are and what they can accomplish. Your teenager lives in a “today” world and doesn’t much think about the “tomorrow” world unless you are talking about senior prom or college. And those are just vague ideas that have rainbows and lollipops dancing all around them!

Our teens need to learn that so many of the decisions, efforts, and choices that they are making right now will directly affect their future. But if they don’t value who they are or take pride in what they do right now, how can we expect them to understand the importance of some far off distant future?

Please take a moment to watch this second video on how we can help our teens value themselves to the point of caring!

Your Partner in Parenting,

Pastor Deknatel

Planning "On Purpose" Time with Your Teenager pt 2

Dear Parent,

 

Out of the mouths of babes! If you haven’t had a chance to watch last week’s video, you may want to take a moment and hear what teenagers are saying about spending “on purpose” time with their parents!http://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/65615027/02192fbe51

Just to make it clear, they want to spend time with us. Even if it’s hard. Especially if it’s hard. It means that we aren’t going anywhere. It means that we love them unconditionally, first. There is something to be said about being someone’s priority. And “on purpose” time tells your teenager that they are definitely your priority.

Schedules are packed, time is scarce, patience is often thin. And it is for that very reason why this is so important! Just ask yourself how you would feel if another person dropped everything just to invest in you. You might never receive encouragement, or a thank you, or even a grunt from your teenager. But you will make an impact, because you are their greatest influence!

Walking this journey with you,

Pastor Deknatel

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