A new study says kids today are more materialistic, they want MORE than ever before, and they’re less likely to work and study hard for the things they want. We want our children to be responsible, to work hard. In order for them to be responsible, we must give them responsibilities.
How do we teach them to be hard workers, and for that matter, does hard work even matter? Check out this month’s online parenting class to see how to get your kid to do more than play Wii.
In a couple of weeks I’ll be sending you the second installment of how to cultivate good work habits in your children. Maybe a good starting point is thinking through some appropriate chores at home for your child. Do they need more than they currently have, do they need to be pushed to do the current ones better?
Partnering with you,
Posted on September 19, 2017 4:13 PM
Gratefulness is an attitude that we choose to have. In reality a grateful heart has NOTHING to do with what we have, material possessions. A grateful heart also isn’t birthed out of positive circumstances in life. Gratefulness is an attitude we possess when we know WHOSE we are.
When you read of Paul and Silas imprisoned in Acts 16, you find out they’d just been severely beaten by a crowd and drug to prison. As they’re in prison that evening we see Paul and Silas doing 2 things; praying and singing hymns. We can learn a lot about gratefulness from the responses of these men. Upon a severe beating and imprisonment, we se them expressing adoration and gratefulness to God. They’re attention wasn’t fixed on their circumstances; it was fixed on God Himself.
So now that we understand that gratefulness isn’t about being thankful for our stuff or our great circumstances, but rather an attitude fixed on God Himself, how do we instill an attitude of gratefulness in our children?
- Live in the present. Living in the past keeps us tied to guilt and regret. Living in the future leaves us striving for things that we’re not promised. Live for today.
- Make sure when you express gratefulness that isn’t just for things. Be grateful for good attitudes, great friends, kind words, etc.
- Develop an understanding of money with an allowance. While instituting an allowance, teach what it means to save, tithe, give and spend.
- Expose your children to people from all different walks of life. Help them see what people HAVE doesn’t define WHO they are.
Gratefulness is an attitude of contentment. It’s when WE say I don’t need more from God to follow Him completely. I’ll follow NOW. Our children will learn gratefulness from us when they see it modeled through this type of attitude.
Posted on August 31, 2017 3:51 PM
When our children are small we have to prompt them to do everything. Go clean your room, chew with your mouth closed, say thank you. At some point, these things should become automatic. Do you find yourself STILL prompting your child to say thank you? When does that become automatic?
Instilling gratefulness in our children takes work. They are born grateful, they’re born selfish. So how do we teach them gratefulness? How do we help our child embrace gratefulness?
Check out this month’s video on Helping My Child Embrace Gratefulness. Later in the month you’ll receive a second email that will include some additional steps for instilling gratefulness, and we’ll tackle the subject of how using an allowance will help with gratefulness as well.
Posted on August 16, 2017 11:11 AM
Our children have personalities, and maybe you’ve found yourself saying, “My child has a BIG personality!” Expecting all these personalities to mesh harmoniously to produce precious, genuine friendships in childhood is a tall order. But there are steps we can take to help our child be a good friend.
Hopefully since the first email on this subject you’ve done a little detective work; listening in on conversations between your child and their friends, watching them play with others in the backyard, and spying during practices or, even, in their classrooms. You’ve probably heard and seen things that made you cringe, and, more than likely, you also had moments that made you proud.
A good beginning step is to do some coaching AFTER those keen observations. Let your child know what you saw, not in a demeaning way, just what you observed, and let them know a better way they could handle the situation next time. This private coaching time truly will help them be a better friend.
The Bible gives us some incredible insight into the traits of a good friend. These are the traits we want to be developing in our children to help them be the BEST FRIEND they can be:
- John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”. A good friend is sacrificial. This doesn’t mean they let people walk all over them, but it does mean that sometimes your child plays what the other kid wants instead of what he/she always wants.
- Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Unconditional love is the mark of a good friend, meaning your child is loyal, stays put even through conflict.
- Proverbs 27:9 “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” Good friends give good advice, wise counsel. This is from the overflow of a heart that seeks God.
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Insert Bible link here. True friends strengthen and help one another.
The best thing you can do is talk often with your child about the qualities of a true friend. Pray with them that God would help them be a good friend, and over time you’ll help your child become a friend “who sticks closer than a brother.”
Posted on August 03, 2017 10:55 AM
We all want our child to be a good friend; someone who is kind, generous, and compassionate toward others. Learning to be a good friend only happens through practice. Our children will learn to be a good friend as they experience real friendship with real people. These interactions can be messy. Our child will hurt others and others will hurt our child, but that reality shouldn’t deter us from helping our child be a great friend.
Research shows that kids with good friendships feel better about themselves, perform better in school, and are better equipped to grow into well adjusted adults. We know there are great benefits to having good friends and being a good friend, but HOW do we help our kids BE a good friend?
Check out this video, and we’ll follow up later in the month with a few more practical suggestions on HOW to help your child be a good friend.
Posted on July 11, 2017 4:32 PM
A ton of research associated with time management emphasizes setting goals so that you know where to invest your time most. An incredible resource that will help you identify family goals in a step by step process is “The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family.” When we know what is most important to us it helps guide the use of our time.
Here are some very practical tools to help your family move from frantic hurriedness to calm predictability:
- Learn the power of NO. We all want our children to be great, and often it’s at the expense of family time. In an effort to make our children the BEST at something, we’ll over invest our time toward that goal.
- Stop trying to do it all and determine priorities. If eating family dinners together 3 nights per week is a goal, someone may have to say no to another opportunity to assure that happens.
- Be very intentional with the time you do have. Steer clear of cruising Facebook or Twitter without setting some time constraints on yourself.
- Give up on the idea of perfectionism and the idea that you can do it all.
- Make sure everyone in the house is sharing responsibility, that everyone has certain jobs/tasks.
- Think ahead and plan well/organize your time
The Bible has a lot to say about our use of time. There are many verses that lead me to believe
God desperately wants us to understand how BREIF life is. Psalm 39:4-5 says,
“O Lord, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!
Each moment of our families’ lives are measured out, and God alone knows the number of them. We each have the ability to choose how we use the ones we have by living in the present, being very intentional with the time we do have, and loyally following through with the goals we set as a family.
Posted on June 29, 2017 3:15 PM
Most families today will tell you they’re too overextended, too busy, feel like they’re running a rate race; yet we’ve all been given a gift from God, 24 hours in a day. If you’re like me you’ve often wondered why in the world God only put 24 in there! Each of us has the same amount of time each day, but we all get to choose how we use it.
This month we want to help you discover HOW to manage your family’s time well. Take a moment to watch the following video to see how to manage the time monster:
We encourage you to take the time and really evaluate the 24 hours God has given your family. How exactly are you using the time given to you?
In the next couple weeks you’ll receive a second email from us that will include some steps your family can take to tame the time monster.
Posted on June 15, 2017 2:29 PM